4月 1日부터 봄방학. 첫 시험은 실패다. 내년도 장학생(2500불)에 지명되었다는 통지가 와서 + - ○. 이제 18개월은 확보해놨다. 앞으로 10개월 간의 성과 여하로 그 다음에 올 운명이 좌우되는 것.
봄방학, 봄방학, 갈 곳이 어디냐.
Summer job. $400/month. O.K. Another adventure! Yes. Life is adventure in nature. Why not? Go ahead. Thee created man. Crazy man! To get your food, wife, generation. To space! Spend money. Space effort. Space effort. Spend money. Not for education, not for children, not for the poor, but competition with the successful! Competition with the successful! Small event. In any circumstance, acceleration need energy much too much. Time will solve eventually, from the good from the evil! Spring is here, and the window, on the tree, green grass. Spring is good. Nature is good, earth is good, man is bad, man is crazy. They overestimate their capacity. Space travel! to where? Nearest star will take millions of millions of years to reach. And for what? Crazy human being spend money to rocket? Not for cultivation of yourself and your family. All too bad! But nature embrace everything in herself. So activity of human being is but a small part, and also belong to nature. Nature is ugly, especially when nature is not using the power of growing. So, what are you? What are you going to be? Why? By when? So what are you? to where? why?
Do not laugh like crazy begger. Do reply to my question? What are you? Do you know what all this means? Yes, you do know many thing. You know the orbit electron and structure of atom. You also know how to destroy them. But you do not know why they are so? You poor man? You are finite, doomed to vanish, like bubbles. You can dream many thing, many hopeful, many awful, ideal and, of eternity. But you have no chance to observe anything of eternity. You must vanish before anything of importance to you ever happen. All that important only to you! O! poor man! What a brilliant trick the nature is playing? Certainly, phenomina of mankind are beautiful. But we, the player, the created, mankind. O! What can we do to improve our fate, doomed to vanish with the curtain. You will not dare deny all these. Of course they are too sorrowful even to think. But truth need not nobody's help. Truth prevails by itself! Man will vanish!